Exhausted

Okay, maybe I'm just really tired. Exhausted was October 26th, when I had been working the day job, working on the house, running a show and moving in the snow after a bitch of a time getting the house bought. That was exhausted.

But I'm tired. Very tired. I had managed to keep the panic about losing my job undercovers mostly, but it was tiring being that terrified. And two shows going on is a lot, and the winter is kicking my ass, and just all of it. I need a break. I don't think I'll get one, but as things finish up and I have less to focus on, it'll be like a break, I suppose.

The props design for Jekyll and Hyde is almost done. I have a few more things to finish up, but most everything is in place, which feels good. I'm going to head over there after Caligula rehearsal tonight and finish up my detail work and clean out the unused props and extra crap I have laying around. Then it's just making sure they have enough of the consumables to run the show and I'm done (until I get a note tonight asking for a horse head or something bizarre).

I feel pretty good about that show overall. I think I could probably have done a better job on it, but given the short time frame that overlapped with the holidays and another show, I think it's coming out well enough. I feel like I've earned my paycheck, and that's about the best I can do at the moment. I hope they ask me back. We'll see.

Caligula continues to go very well. I feel like I've made a big improvement as a stage manager, which feels good. I updated my resume today, and a quarter of my stage management experience has taken place in the past year. That's nutty. But yeah, in college I would manage a show or two a year, not four shows. I guess I did other shows, too, acting or design work or whatever, but it's not the same commitment that stage management is.

I was looking ahead, trying to decide if I wanted to continue working at this pace and I think that I do. Part of what made 2008 feel so busy is the house buying (and fixing and moving), so without that taking up so much time, will I feel less stressed? And do I want to be less stressed? I sign-up for these projects. I *like* being this busy and maybe even feel the need to be this busy. I've spent so many years not getting anything done, and I feel like I need to make up for that time to a degree, and really push myself to accomplish something.